It's November already!?

Time is flying. We had a ton of fun with the boys yesterday, Trick or Treating around town. Now we have a bucketful of candy in the house, and I'm trying not to indulge ... to much.

This coming weekend is our first weekend in a while where we don't have any major obligations, where we are dragging everyone around. Things to get done this weekend:

• A new babysitter candidate is coming over tomorrow morning for a "playdate". I hope she's good, because we don't have a regular date-night babysitter, and my husband and I really do need to reconnect. Well that already fell through, 15 minutes after posting. She had to reschedule. :(

Settling in

I started this blog because I really just needed to get some of my thoughts in order. I was having a really hard time, feeling like working from home was just not the right fit for me. In just writing that post, however, I stopped and realized how lucky I am to be able to work from home, especially while my kids are so young. I was struggling a lot transforming myself from the Type A go-getter and being happy with my role at work.

Since then, I really feel like I've begun to accept where I am a little more. Maybe it's the change in the seasons--I see a busy fall/winter ahead of me with the holidays and I'm hesitant to take on any large new projects. Maybe it's because there is a lot of churn at work at the moment, and I'm just sitting back, waiting to see what falls out.

Here's what has changed, besides my attitude, since I've decided to "settle in".

4-day workweek

The problem with the 4-day workweek is that everything from the regular, 5-day workweek just gets crammed into 4 days. All the meetings that were supposed to happen on Monday? Well, they got moved to Tuesday, forcing 60% of my Tuesday meetings to move to Wednesday, which forced 30% of my Wednesday meetings to Thursday.

It being Thursday now, I think I'm pretty caught up with meetings, so now I have a little time to actually get some work done.

What a week. We've all been feeling the stress around here. I think we need another day off, but I'm not sure that it's worth it go to through this again!

3 day weekend, Columbus Day edition

It's Columbus Day today, and, as it turns out, the kids' preschool is closed and I am off of work, but my husband had to work. It was to be a full day of just me and my boys. I was looking forward to getting some stuff done.

The boys are not ones to let a mere holiday get in the way of their normal schedules, so they were still awake at 6 and 6:30 this morning. We three were all up and dressed and ready to take on the world by 8 am. Unfortunately, the world was not quite ready for us. Have you noticed that most stores don't open until 10 am on weekdays? Why is that? Target is the notable exception, which is, I think, why Target always seems to be the family-friendly destination of choice.

When Daddy is out of town ...

I didn't post much last week. That's because my husband was out of town and, unfortunately, this didn't make the, "This needs to happen or CPS will come / you will get fired / your house will burn down" list.

Every time my husband is out of town, it's the same thing. Day 1 fine, Day 2 is worse, and, by Day 3, we are all hanging on by a thread. This time, he was gone for 3.5 days. He was really pushing it. Here are how the actual events transpired this week.

Femininity in the workplace

Early in my career, I wouldn't wear skirts to work. I was young, pretty, and skirts made me feel very vulnerable. I was afraid that wearing a skirt would cause someone to confuse me for a secretary, that it would somehow make me marginalized. I didn't want to be a good female worker; I just wanted to be a good worker.

I've relaxed my dress a bit with age. I do wear skirts and dresses in the office much more often, but I still am very careful about what I say and do. Just today on a call, I found myself apologizing for some criticism. When the person (male) to laughed and asked why I was apologizing (as the criticism was well-founded), I said, "You're right. I shouldn't do that. Women tend to over-apologize. I need to own my words."

Field Trip!

Yesterday, I went apple picking with a bunch of 3-5 year olds, and I had a ton of fun!

Growing up, my mother always worked full time. She always had demanding schedules. I remember begging her to come chaperone our field trips, but she always had to work. Looking back, I expect she didn't want to use up one of her vacation / personal days to ride a school bus and deal with a bunch of unruly kids.

So while I've been whining to friends that I could use a day off, when I said I was using the day to chaperone a field trip, everyone told me I was crazy.

I have a dream

I have a dream ... that one day, I'll be able to sleep past 7 am. That I can wake up, wander to the kitchen in my PJs, and sit at the table sipping coffee and reading the morning news in silence.

I have a dream ... that my entire house will be clean, all at the same time, and will stay that way for a few hours, at least. That I can fold laundry without it being immediately unfolded. That I will never again have to re-wash something because it's been thrown on the floor by a toddler and subsequently picked up by the puppy and dragged around the house.

Job or career?

There is a very big distinction made between having a job or having a career. It's one thing for a woman--a mother, specifically--to work outside of the home. It's entirely another thing for her to have a career.

First, let's make sure we're on the same page. A job is work that you do for financial gain. You go in, you do something that someone finds valuable, and you get paid. A career is more than that. A career is a long-term plan. A career has a goal in mind; you are not showing up simply for the paycheck, but you have longer term goals in mind. You want to move up. You want to develop. If the career is the strategy; the jobs are the execution of that strategy.

I've always been very career-minded. I'm a go-getter. I want to be best at whatever I do, and, once I've conquered a process or situation, I am ready for the next challenge. This is probably why I've been able to move up the ranks at the places where I've worked so quickly. I work hard and find enjoyment in a job well done. I've mentioned before, but I have a high need for achievement.

The end of a long Wednesday

My husband had to bring the dog in to the vet for a regular check up, so I am doing dinner alone tonight.

I bribed my 3 year old with an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine so he would stop jumping on his brother long enough for me to finish cooking.

I also told the 3 year old that we are having spaghetti for dinner, when we are, in fact, having spaghetti squash. Close enough, right? He did not fall for it.

I'm drinking wine out of a tumbler. At least it's not straight out of the bottle?

Cheers!

What I do love about working from home

One of the reasons I wanted to start this blog is to get my thoughts out and organize them. I suppose I could do that in an old fashioned diary, but something about the fact of writing publicly--even if no one is reading (yet?)--keeps me much more accountable.

So after I wrote yesterday's post, "I work from home, and I don't love it", I have been thinking about a lot of the reasons I do really appreciate working from home, a counterpoint to myself.

I work from home, and I don't love it

It's supposed to be the epitome of work-life balance. The best way for busy mothers to balance both work and family is to cut out the commute entirely. Make teleworking appealing and all of the women will want to come back to the work force in droves, right?

Well, I work from home.

And I don't love it.

On "Having it all"

"Having it all" is a common topic of discussion these days around my professional circle, specifically whether you can or cannot achieve that nirvana of having your cake and eating it too. A year ago, you may have found me to be one of those obnoxious people that were telling you that I did somehow manage to have it all. Now, I would have been honest with you and myself, acknowledging that a fair amount of luck and just being in the right place had gotten me to that point. But, regardless of how I got there, I was there! I had it all! A great husband. An adorable 2 year old and a sweet, squishy newborn. The perfect house in the perfect town with the perfect school system. What else could I want for?

Then my maternity leave was up. I headed back to work. I was actually excited to get back, put my brain back to work again. But during the time I was out, something had changed. Not with work. Work was the same litany of meetings and work drama and decisions. Whereas, before I enjoyed the challenge and the new ideas, now it all seemed as silly as a pretend tea party, except not nearly as cute.